As this month is an opportunity for many new conversations, today’s post introduces communication tactic #2 for your ASP/Bar guru toolbox.

It is easy to vent about our workload, ample student meetings, or perhaps disappointment about an institutional decision. It is much harder to stay positive, remain open and let colleagues see the real you; a genuine, devoted, caring and diligent campus member.

Even more so, it is ten times harder for new law students to confidently walk through your office door three weeks into law school reality. Thus, communication tactic #2 is a refresher on the use of probative, open ended questions to break the ice with your students and fellow colleagues. 

I recently reviewed several professional development pieces regarding conversation starters. I found myself aghast at the amount of closed ended questions on these lists. For example, "Have you been here before?" "Will you come back to this conference again next year?" Or "Do you have plans while you're in town?"

I don't know about you, but if someone I didn't know walked up to me and this was their opener, it would be a short yes/no conversation. 

Reading these pieces made me think more about the importance of using probative questions as conversation starters in our work.

Probative open-ended questions illicit more information than we would receive when we ask narrowly tailored, yes/no questions. The question style begins with a "who, what, when, where, or why" phrase which permits the listener to give a narrative response. Our advocacy skills know this information to be true, but our consistent execution of probative questions may need some sharpening given the daily hustle and shuffle between meetings. 

For a new student meeting, instead of opening with a statement like "Tell me about yourself" (which can put someone in a defensive, closed position) try "What can I tell you to help you on your journey?" This opens up the channels for communication and may establish trust.

When speaking with a colleague, instead of pleasantries and the usual "How is it going?" (which often results in a mediocre response) try pleasantries and a unique question like "What fun or interesting article have you read lately?" (And be ready with an article of your own – maybe even a shout out to our blog too!) 

People will get to know the real (amazing ASP/Bar) you when you make a conscious effort to get to know them.  Here is a short list to get you started with new students:

"What can I tell you about law school that might help you?"

"What is one 'win' that you achieved or hope to achieve this week?"

"What would you like to know about me?"

"What is something that you want to share about your experience with me?"

"Where are you on your journey through law school?"

… and of course, humor often works well but I'll leave that advice to editor, Liz Stillman ;) 

(Amy Vaughan-Thomas)